Leadership Tool – Empathy jolt
It was my blindspot. I was chasing happiness by reaching the next milestone.
Reflecting on my leadership journey, I was in a hurry to get into a leadership role and grow aggressively. I felt happiness by reaching the next milestone. I learned many things the hard way, but it dont needs to be that way.
Reflecting on my journey, I was in a rush to become a leader, driven by “Urgency and Peer Pressure.”
To be successful, as leaders, we must build a repository of small tools and associated experiences. These are like lego blocks. From time to time, based on the situation, we need to assemble them appropriately to the problem, add dynamism and make them relevant. These tools help you to create your magic and brand.
When I was a project lead many years ago, I worked on a strategic initiative for an automotive client. I ended up having a conflict with my project manager. The manager put me into a spot a couple of times in front of a group. My personality style and her personality style were opposite. I could not take this criticism. So, I went to my boss and requested a release from this project. The issue escalated as I was a critical member, and the initiative was strategic for my client organization. Our Director asked for dialogue. He was very friendly, and it created “emotional safety.” He started inquiring about the background of the issue, what caused me turbulence, and my views on handling this situation. He indeed did a similar exercise with the Project manager.
After he understood the perspectives, he did an exciting act. He invited both of us and asked us to do a role-swap. So I became the PM, and the project manager became the project lead. He asked us to tell what could be why the other person acted the way they did.
Both of our awareness kicked in, and we understood the underlying motives and emotionally experienced them. This meeting objectively resolved the contention. The discussion that started with sidewise glances ended with friendly eye contact. We both ended up being great friends. After the meeting, the Project Manager extended support to help me see the success.
Later, I deployed this tool many times. This leadership tool is called “The Empathy Jolt” (ref: Just Listen by Mark Goulston, Keith Ferrazzi).
Through this experience, I learned that my effectiveness depends on what I have in my “Leadership Toolbox.”
Let me confidently tell you, Leadership is not a destination to reach in a hurry but a Journey of building the right skills on the way. It is one who performs a continuous and consistent chain of actions, turns him/her into a “Great Leader.”
Learn to create magic in our own style.
